Women Opening Their Hearts to Men

There are still too many women who are not fully aware of why the Men's Human Rights Ireland [MHRI] and Men's Human Rights Movement [MHRM] are needed. In order for women to understand the needs of men and the vital importance of the MHRI many women must remember to open their hearts to men. Before this can happen, many women must first learn to change the filters from which they experience men.

Many of you may be asking 'what the hell are you talking about?', let me clarify.

A 'filter' is a metaphorical screen through which we see our world. Our individual filter is created by stories and memories from our past. Some pleasurable, some traumatizing, others neither. The filter is made up of life learned lessons, a web of stored experiences used for survival. The existence of the filter itself is not bad or good, it is something we use to examine the world around us. However, what we use to create our filter, can either create it to support and nurture us or hurt us.

As we grow up we store our experiences, as I mentioned. We do our best to navigate throughout the world and take in what we've been told that creates the highest options of survival. However, we are all born a blank slate. So, the stories we take in start as other people's stories. For instance our parents as well as other authoritative figures, our media, etc.

Feminism has been one of those influences that has become deeply ingrained in the filters of many.

For instance, I was once a feminist. The way I viewed the world was through this fear of men that was expressed as if it were a normal thought. I believed such unhealthy projections of men even though I knew I loved them. Something didn't feel right but I did not know how to express it. I still felt as if my life as a woman meant being in a constant state of war. Even with how much I had amazing experiences with men, I found myself still stuck. I had this view that misogynists were everywhere. My filter on how I view men was still riddled with feminism.

When I eradicated feminism from my filter I began to view life completely different. I realized the world was not filled with misogynists lurking at every corner- many of you may be saying 'no shit asshole', yeah, I get it but I didn't get it then at all. I woke up finally to a world that was much safer than feminism projected. I knew I loved men but suddenly I was confronted by just how much I allowed my feminist filter to keep me blind to many of my actions with men. I was overwhelmed with this deep feeling of pain and shame in how I had acted in the past with men and even at the time of letting go of feminism. Now, this is important, to fully accept such feelings and use it to become and STAY fully conscious. You don't need to live your life in shame, this is just part of the process of accepting the effects of your interaction with men in the past. Some women do not want to accept that at some point or another they were the baddie, but accept it. Chances are, you were. It's confronting and it should be, it's called growth.

I learned that all those 'misogynists' were just men standing up for themselves and saying 'no' to the blatant anti-male agenda spread by feminism. I was able to see an entire side of a story which was masked by my feminist view point.

Feminism created cognitive dissonance that I could not understand fully until I left feminism behind. I knew I loved men, but in my filter there were dis-empowered stories I took on and accepted as reality.

Why do I share all of this? To encourage women to change your filter on how you see men. Letting go of all the dis-empowering stories you have held onto and continue to see men through will awaken you to the world that is right in front of you. You will then be able to fully receive men for who they are, who they really are.

Some women see men through filters that hold painful stories. They take their personal experiences from the past and instead of move into healing, they fasten these painful memories into their filters and so they can only see all men from this very viewpoint.

With such a filter filled with pain, you will only see this in the men before you. Men are amazing but if you hold on to filters that cling to stories that are based on pain and fear, you will never be able to receive amazing experiences with men. Consistently you will sabotage happy interactions and you will create a dark world of 'justified' fear based on your filter. You might even completely keep from interacting with men telling yourself your stories are more valid than being present with men in the now.

When you clear your filter of your pain stories/fear stories/anger stories that you project onto men, you will experience a world of so much fun, openness, adventure and you will see men in ways you never knew before. You will see men for who they really are, and that is the amazing beings that they are.

If you want to experience men for who they truly are, you need to clear your filter of the anti-male agenda. Dig deep to any stories that do not empower your relationships with men and bid them goodbye. Those stories of your past are not more important than experiencing men in real time.

Step out of the blind spot and move into empowered co-existence with men. This is a big step towards your healthy interaction in human community.

The Return of Femininity by Kristal Garcia can be found here.